Living in Mexico While Things Change at Home
A few weeks ago, while helping a friend with her groceries, my purse was stolen. Let me back up. I am an immigrant/ex-pat, depending on if I am speaking to other foreigners or locals. I live on the Caribbean coast of the Yucatan Peninsula in a gated community. I have been traveling, primarily for work, to this area since 1998, and in 2019 we retired here. Two reasons I chose Mexico to retire to were gun violence in the US and the president at the time. Fast forward to 2025 and here we are, still in Mexico, loving our life, while back home that same president I fled my country from is back in power, and gun control is no better (maybe worse, since now they want to encourage the sale of silencers). AND YET the number one question I still get is: “aren’t you afraid to live in Mexico?”
Back to the subject at hand. Weeks ago, I took a friend shopping to the local supermarket, Chedraui. She has had surgery and needed some help. After shopping, I pulled my car up in front of the mall, left my purse inside my running car, and quickly stepped out to help. She noticed a man had purposely placed a shopping cart directly in front of my car. She yelled at him to move it. In that split second that all eyes were diverted from the car to the shopping cart my purse was removed from my car. The thieves were obviously working together. They picked us because we were both seniors and one of us had physical issues. I completely take responsibility for carelessly leaving my purse in the front seat – or as some point out, taking it with me at all. What I find most interesting in all this is that this was a NON-VIOLENT crime. Inconvenient and costly? YES. However, I can’t help but believe in the states there would most likely have been a gun involved and my car would probably have been stolen. So even though, weeks later, I am still working on replacing the items that were stolen, I am here and no one was injured.
Prior to living in Mexico, I lived many places in the US – New York, Maine, Massachusetts, North Carolina. In California alone I lived in Hollywood, West Hollywood, Watts, Van Nuys, Woodland Hills, Alameda and San Diego, before moving to Florida and South Carolina. My life has not been boring, which also means it has not been without danger and trauma. I was in an abusive relationship for most of my teenage years. I was chased and threatened by the KKK at college in NC. I was raped and held at gun point while living in LA. Those are just the highlights.
I am a survivor who can honestly speak about bullies, abusers and rapists. I can address violent behavior firsthand and spot abuse. Yes, Mexico is dangerous. There is no place on the face of this earth where bad people don’t roam. However, in my personal experience of over 25 years traveling through Mexico, often alone, the level of danger is much greater in the US of A.
People wonder why I have become so political and vocal at the age of 70! I have one answer: Grandchildren, especially our 10-year-old granddaughter.
My stepson has 3 gorgeous children - 10, 9 and 3 - and although we share no blood, he is as important to me as any relative could be, and his children are my life. They are what makes me continue to fight, hold a bright light on injustice in this world, and to do all I can to make it a better place for them. And when I am not doing that, and they are here with me, I do all I can to shower them with love and show them the beauty of Mexico – it’s people, foods, environment, culture and colors. I want to make sure they experience enough of my new country so they can form their own knowledgeable opinions, and not be swayed by what they might read or hear up north.
I am sure by this point I have lost the readers who disagree and am now preaching to the choir, but I am going on the record nonetheless to make some points that seem to escape so many.
Gun violence: USA v Mexico, yes Mexico has gun violence. The cartels are a big part of Mexican society, and I will not for a moment pretend it isn’t deadly serious. Anytime there is poverty, there are going to be gangs, mafia, cartel and other bad people making a fortune on the desperation of others. And, yes, this spills over into the United States of America where our addiction to drugs is an on-going problem. Often it starts with something as innocent as an injury treated with pain killers and the person gets hooked. I am not glorifying or excusing that Mexico plays a major role in providing our drug addicts with dangerous, deadly drugs. They do and in exchange the United States of America provides the cartels with weapons, often manufactured specifically for them with their own logos. Yet, even with the importing of deadly weapons, you do not see the average Mexican stockpiling these things for their personal use. The school children here do not fear going to school or endure having to practice “active shooter drills.” Concert goers don’t have to worry about someone opening fire in the stadium. And I didn’t have to worry about being held at gun point when my purse was stolen.
Most recently, the news I see about what is happening in the USA, especially targeted “Blue States,” looks shockingly more like how the current administration portrays the extremely bad cartel members. ICE members are dressed in fatigues, wearing masks, showing no IDs and well-armed with a multitude of weapons. These people, carrying no warrants, are grabbing people off the streets, people who are on their way to school, church, work and even immigration appointments. This IS the very thing they accuse the cartels of – human trafficking and kidnapping. They are even “selling” them to foreign countries. And yes, selling, because incarceration in foreign or even private lockups in the US, are commercial transactions. And just as the criminal gangs grab people with impunity, so to do the authorities in the US spirit people away without DUE PROCESS. No day in court. No notifying their families. They are simply removed or “disappeared.”
How can we say we are making a country great or safer when we adhere to the same behaviors of those we identify as “bad hombres?”
The average immigrant is simply seeking a better life for themselves and their loved ones. Leaving places of great poverty and often trying to escape the very cartels we have identified as dangerous and disruptive. They, in many cases, walk here with only the clothes on their backs and maybe a small child, through unbelievable terrain, seeking a better life. Often stories remain unknown because they don’t speak Spanish or English, but instead one of 68 languages with 364 variants in Mexico alone. Throughout Latin America there are approximately 560 indigenous languages.
And none of these people are responsible for the real issues I worry about for my grandchildren. No brown skinned immigrant had anything to do with Roe v Wade being overturned. Immigrant women of color did not pass state laws that threaten to hold women accountable for murder for obtaining an abortion. And no immigrant required a young dead woman to remain on life support until her 1 pound 6 oz baby could be removed by C-section. Or for cutting back health care options and holding families responsible for medical expenses.
No immigrant of color is to blame for the cuts in medicare, health care, child care and SNAP. Or pass more tax breaks for BILLIONAIRES.
But some of these issues will have to wait until another day.
For now – NO! I am not afraid to live in Mexico. AND NO! I am not going to quiet down or stop calling out the injustice happening in the land I love and call my homeland. I am an expat, living in a beautiful place, but I AM also an American, born at West Point, USMA of parents whose families immigrated many generations ago, but were proud immigrants just the same.