Living On the Edge or In Limbo: Trying to Move to Mexico
It has been quite awhile since I have sat down to write. This has always been my busy time of year with swim lessons, water aerobics classes and our Airbnb. We had our last Airbnb guests over the 4th of July. I am doing fewer classes and lessons and our focus and time seems to be filled with trying to sell our house.
Mike and I have always been the kind of people who have embraced life and not been afraid to live on the edge. We, unlike a lot of people, love change and find it exhilarating. When we were planning our trip to Mexico for 3 months we were not really looking to move there. We were not sure if it would be our last trip to Mexico or not, but we did know we wanted to step out of our travel comfort zone and have a real adventure. It didn’t disappoint. We went places we have never been before, got off the beaten path, explored places that were not on the tourist top ten lists and loved every minute of it.
After being in Puerto Aventuras for just a short time we started to realize that maybe this was were we wanted to retire. Houses were selling fast and furious where we live, and it seemed like timing was perfect. We got home, contacted an old friend who is a realtor and decided to make the move. That is where living on the edge turned into limbo. The housing market went into a full stall. We have had very few showings and what we thought was the first step to a hectic move has been anything but.
My entire life, through all stages, I have been diagnosed with ADHD. For those of you who think that is only being hyper-active, let me assure you it doesn’t stop there, and in many cases, it is hard to see the hyper-activity because it is often internalized or a mental state. I may seem calm on the outside, but my mind is running a mile a minute. I may appear to be listening intently to your story, but let me assure you I am hearing every conversation going on around me and struggling to tune them out. The plus side of ADHD is I am basically fearless. Combine the ADHD with the many dangerous near misses and broken bones I have had over the years and you would think I would be more cautious, but no, I’m really not. It’s not in my DNA. So, by my nature, I am much more adapt to living life on the edge, taking the path less traveled, doing something new, never settling down. Life right now is NONE of that. It is stagnant and restrictive. Nothing is moving, nothing is changing, and we can’t make a move in any direction or plan for even a short vacation to relieve the frustration. Our house has to be ready to be shown on a moment’s notice and we are at the mercy of the possible buyer. UGH!
I am coping by focusing on my students, which have been the best group I have had in all my years. Each day my kids make me smile and help me escape this prison I feel like we are in. The parents are the most supportive people I could ask for. Our friends have been incredibly supportive and great at keeping us entertained. And, of course, there are our grandchildren. Especially, Lyla, who we have always been close to and spend much more one-on-one time with. Lyla has learned to swim this summer and we balance our times together with pool time, play time, lots of cuddling and mutual pure, unconditional love. When I look back at these incredibly frustrating times that we spent in limbo I know the memories will outshine the negative.
That said, we are so ready to get this house sold and get our new adventure started. I have had a taste of the structured, quiet life limbo offers and I am happy that it is for some people, just not for us; at least not yet. I appreciate that the timing is out of my hands and acknowledge that these are the times in our lives meant for introspection and lessons learned. I am sure we are going to not only appreciate our move more, having had this time, but also will walk away with a great understanding of whatever it is we are meant to learn by having to “let go” and not dictate the timing. The hardest part is stopping my hyper-active brain from obsessing on what ifs and wrestling with the unknown. These are the times I am glad that as strong as my ADHD is, my faith is stronger! I don’t know why things are happening the way they are, but I am secure that they are happening for a reason, and that God’s timing is much better than mine.